I LOVE YOU

I give you my heart and I do not want it back.



“I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go."

Comments to Others

--I just want you to realize that I need you. It hurts more to be in the same place as you and get no attention until 1am in the morning. I know that you need your time, I am fine with that. But don't spend ALL day away from me. I only get to see you a couple days of the week and I cherish those moments.

--I wish I didn't have to lose you, I love you so much! and lately it has been so hard.

--I don't know where you get your infromation, but I DO NOT HATE the world. I don't act like it either. You are an asshole for putting people you don't even really know down. You need to live your own life and stop intruding into others. Another thing you and my dad, you were not the best of buds so stop acting like you knew everything about him! You don't even know what I have went through and the true side of shit. SO you should really shut the hell up. I tried being nice to you but insulting me, my boyfriend, and telling lies is ridiculous!

--You are an asshole, what you did to my family was uncalled for! I don't know where you are, or anything. But I don't wish death on you or physical pain. But I hope you realize what you have done and what kind of ass you are. When someone says to watch over someones family, it does not mean marry them and then cheat on them and cause pain and hurt about them and there family. I really do hate you and I will never trust you in my life!!

Can't you see the truth?

I really hate when you have something that is bothering you, but you don't say anything about it. Then that just leads you to getting irritated about everything and mad at people close to you. But all you really want is for them to pay attention and hold you tight. But they don't see that in your eyes. They sit and think your fine or that you are mad at them, but your not you just really want them to see it and not have to tell them.

You Could Say That

Do you ever have those days where it starts out really well and then you feel it go down hill, but do not know why? Like nothing really happened to make it bad, its just all of a sudden you are kinda blue about the day. hmm..today is one of those days.
But on a good note I think I figured out a V-day gift to get my boyfriend. =D I hope he will like it!

Another note:
I am in a social work class because that is what I plan to go into, but there is this one lady in there who is more "set in her ways" than all the rest of us. It is like she is trying to say she is open minded and could be a social worker, but she couldn't. She is rather judgmental to other people's believes. She bugs me quite a bit. Though my social work class is really nice, we have a lot of discussions in class that just keep going. The only bad part is we never get any of our power points done in class. We are a week and a half behind, but the professor is cool and does not seem to mind at all.

Sometimes I wish we were like whiteboards and earse everything and start fresh...but then I think of a few people I wouldn't want to leave behind. But sometimes it seems nice if you could have a good clean change or something could be better for a new experience. I don't really know where I am going with this anymore. (Go figure) My mind is just racing and can't seem to settle. I better just relax.

I love life

I don't get how people can make judgments about others when they do not know them. I love life! It may not be easy at times but that is one thing that is great. You have to experience the lows to enjoy the highs. Yes I was raised with good parents and my dad did love me very much. He may have died, but not for me, he died from a disease and I know how hard it was for him to leave us all here on earth. Life may have been hard after that but its life it is not meant to be easy!! I am going to college, I pay my bills, and take care of myself. Yes I get help from friends and some relatives, but they love me and that is why. I take pride in who I am and what I am doing with my life. I choose the people in my life and some people are not meant to be there. I just want everyone to know, don't let others bring you down, because your true family and friends will be there for you and respect you. I love my life and myself. Do you?

Crazy

Things just seem to be crazy right now. So much school work to do this week, I swear everything was piled on at once. I hate that. I am really glad that I have someone there for me, who will keep me going. It sucks not seeing him during the week, but it does make the weekend like heaven. =D I never really thought I could feel like this for someone. It is absolutely amazing. I feel I really need the constant support of someone, and someone for me to be there for. I really believe people are meant to be together. I am not saying that single people cannot make it being single. I know some can and if that is what they want in life then hey go for it. But I think the majority of people in the world really are meant to find someone in there life to help them through live. The world is crazy itself and it is not going to be easy on anyone. Its a game of life and no one gets out alive. But anyone can enjoy the experience and build their character.
I do not know if that is really making any sense to anyone or not. But I love my boyfriend and I will always be there for him, no matter what. (yes even if our relationship was to end) He is my best friend and he has impacted my life so much, that I know he is not someone I could just forget about. I will hold him in my heart forever. (Yes I know him and I have only been dating for 13 months and it is both of yours first relationship) But I still know how I feel about him. He has gave me hope, love, kindness. He gave me a home, a reason, and so much more I can't put into words.
It's just Forever and Always.

Do you wonder...

Do you ever wonder if things always happen for a reason?
Do you ever wonder if you are here for a specific reason?
Do you ever wonder if you are meant to be with more than one person or is the first one you find the best one for you?
Do you ever wonder if your "best friend" is suppose to be your "best friend forever" or just for a part of your life then leave?
Do you ever wonder if you should totally change yourself?
Do you wonder why on everything?

...WELL I DO...

It's one of those questions...why

This past week two people have died from my old high school. I was not close to either of them, but one of them (the one from my grade) is really bugging me. This is not the first time I have known someone to die, I mean I went through my dad, grandma, grandpa, and many other people. (Those were just the closest ones to me) I think the reason it really is bothering me, because he choose to take his life. I was not able to go to the funeral, but a friend that went told me they read his letter he left behind at the funeral. My friend said it basically said this, "he knew he had a beautiful life, and he knew he was loved by wonderful people, but the world was just too horrible and he felt empty and void inside so it was time for his soul to move" I haven't fully figured out why it bugs me so bad...
This kid never seemed like the one that would take his life. He had plans for himself, he wanted kids, he was going to college. He knew his life wasn't bad, but yet he still felt empty and really decided to end it. I don't think he was meant to die either. He had to crash his car, then he started walking, where then he was hit by a car and then another. It took so much for his life to end. I can't imagine what was going on in his mind.
Maybe I wish I could have done something? Maybe I wish I knew him more? Maybe I am just scared that others will choose the same path? Maybe I still just can't believe it? So many questions I wish could be answered.